


i will love you silently

by zekewastaken



Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE
Genre: Author Is Bad at Feelings, F/F, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Mute Yeh Shuhua, Muteness, Soft Seo Soojin, shuhua has her insecurities and fears, shuhua thinks/feels a lot, soojin cares a lot, soojin will not stand for self-invalidation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:20:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25978111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zekewastaken/pseuds/zekewastaken
Summary: Soojin would surely want to be with someone who can sing along to drunken karaoke. A friend who can actually produce laughter at Minnie’s dad jokes, Miyeon’s gullible personality, and Soyeon roasting the shit out of the bluffing Yuqi. A friend who can run to the convenience store and buy snacks without the fear of the cashier talking to them, and not being able to say anything back.Who would want to spend the rest of their life with a clingy, mute kid anyway?ORShuhua can't speak, and there's a bunch of things that she wants to tell Soojin.
Relationships: Seo Soojin/Yeh Shuhua
Comments: 45
Kudos: 212





	1. (and in the same silence, give you all you desire)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm mostly a MiShu shipper, but I do have a soft spot for SooShu. So, I wanted to write something a little special for them :D  
> That said, prepare to be tragically underwhelmed and disappointed. Because homeboy isn't good with climaxes, and delving into emotions isn't my strong point. (Yes, I'm sorry in advanced.)
> 
> Just a few things I wanna add:
> 
>   * I wasn't sure how to apply Shuhua's initial difficulty in the Korean language, so let's assume that everyone here is speaking English by default.
>   * I'm not completely sure if this representation of "mutism" is realistically accurate to a certain extent (I've been reading stuff online from medical sites and even Reddit discussions), so forgive me if there's any inconsistencies/errors in how I portray it using Shuhua's character.
>   * Shuhua's condition would probably fall under the [neurogenic mutism](https://www.speechpathologygraduateprograms.org/mutism/): [dysarthria](https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/17653-dysarthria). Or something like cerebral palsy, with the paralysis of the larynx/vocal folds. She can’t speak orally, or really make any vocal sounds at all. However, according to one user in this [yahoo!answers post](https://ph.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120720115547AAjPiXd): **"Mute people can make sounds. Grunts, groans, yells, etc. do not require vocal cords as they can be made by forcing air in or out of the lungs."**
> 

> 
> With that out of the way, please lower your expectations and proceed to this word vomit. Enjoy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I want to be consumed by things your mouth don't say, but your mind craves. Words your eyes speak when your voice is silence. The **real** you."_

_“Words fall short whenever I want to tell you how special you are to me._

_All I can say is that my world is full of smiles because of you.”_

**— Unknown**

When she was a kid, Shuhua remembers waking up and trying her best to say _“good morning”_ to her parents. Only to be greeted by them signing it back with a smile, which didn’t really appease her mood. She knows that she can’t speak, but there’s no need to make her feel like she can’t _hear_ either.

Besides that, Shuhua hates sign language. It’s hard, frustrating even, to converse with someone who doesn’t understand it, and so she preferred using her phone or notepad to communicate instead.

If she had anyone to talk to, that is.

See, the thing about being mute isn’t just the incapacity to speak. It’s the detachment, the anxiety, the constant loneliness of feeling out-of-place in a community of people who didn’t share her “disability”, so much so that Shuhua even feels ostracized from her own peers.

She’d gone to school normally for the past twelve years, although she was still required to take special classes that would accommodate her muteness. The Taiwanese had studied hard to prove herself capable, and it showed when she became one of the top students in her batch. But other than that, what else was she meant to do? Nobody talked to her, nobody befriended her. Hell—she didn’t have a single person who wanted to sit with her at lunch, or visit her house for an impromptu sleepover.

Shuhua doesn’t blame them though. It’s not like she _actively_ sought to make friends with anyone, since she often distanced herself to avoid disappointment.

A few people have tried, even speaking to her on some occasions, but she just couldn’t get through them. She can’t handle people. There’s always that standard above her head, those clear expectations she needed to meet in order to click with certain groups. It terrified her to the point that she’d close up all her walls on them, hoping that they’ll take the hint and eventually go away.

This led to a boring, lonely life for the quiet girl. But for Shuhua, she didn’t really mind.

Until she met Soojin.

* * *

When her father got a job promotion to work at an overseas branch in South Korea, the whole family was uprooted from Taiwan and shipped off to the country with him. Shuhua was almost done with high school, so her parents decided that she’d take advancement classes to complete her secondary education. She could then enroll for online classes in university, get her degree, and make something out of her life… hopefully.

However, since the change of environment was too sudden for poor Shuhua (culture-shock just made the adjustment even more difficult), they signed her up in a special-needs camp for the summer. Saying how _“it’ll make the transition easier”,_ and that _“you might even make some new friends there”._

“Just keep your head up, kiddo. If anything happens, we’re just one call away.” Her father said as he drove her towards the camp.

“And try to smile more. Okay, dear? You’ve always looked so beautiful when you smiled.” Her mother added while glancing at Shuhua from the rearview mirror. “I’m sure lots of people would want to befriend you. I can feel it.”

Yeah, well… that was too much of a stretch, apparently, since Shuhua felt just as isolated as she was when they were still in Taiwan. And she certainly didn’t expect any different now that she’s here—a lone foreigner in a land she doesn’t recognize—until Soojin approached her one morning.

Shuhua remembers that day vividly. It was almost a week into summer camp, and she was once again eating alone. The campers have gathered in the mess hall for breakfast, but she opted to sit at the secluded table near the wall. Far away from everyone else as they tucked into their meals. From there, she would glance up and lock eyes with the blonde-haired girl from across the room.

_Seo Soojin,_ she recalled that time, was one of the junior councilors who worked there during the season, but mostly hung around in the infirmary to assist the nurses.

While Shuhua was busy plowing through her pancakes (she’s too hungry to care about people judging her eating habits), Soojin had walked up to her and sat down on the opposite side of the table. Watching her quietly with those inquisitive, honey-brown eyes that reminded her of caramel toffees and the afternoon sun. Sweet and warm as they carried a certain kindness in them that could melt even the coldest dispositions.

“Hi, I’m Soojin.”

Her voice was as soft as her appearance. Having this smooth lightness in them that put Shuhua in a state of calm, and she relaxed from the way it rolled over her ears just right. Not too loud, but not too faint that she’d have to lean over to hear it.

“Yeh Shuhua, right? One of the new campers?”

A timid nod.

“Ah, I see… It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Whatever fear that gripped her shoulders had promptly dissipated once Soojin smiled, and Shuhua—

Oh, she felt her breath hitch when she saw it being directed at _her._

“If you don’t mind me asking, why are you sitting here all alone?” The question wasn’t spiteful or demeaning. Soojin looked genuinely curious, and Shuhua thought that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to entertain her. Even for just a while.

She gave her a shrug and glanced down at her hands, clasping them together on her lap, while she bounced her leg idly. It’s clear that the gorgeous bombshell didn’t know what it felt like to be an outcast, and she wasn’t in the mood to explain it to her. (She’d have to write a whole-ass essay, if that were the case.)

“You… don’t have any friends?”

Shuhua glanced up and was surprised to see the honest _concern_ in Soojin’s mellow eyes, which regarded her with confusion. She just nodded again before staring off into the side, her fingers tapping anxiously on her denim-clad knees as she avoided her gaze.

Who would want to spend their time around some dumb kid with broken vocal cords?

Soojin, apparently, because she gives her another smile that could rival the sun in all its glory.

“Well, you have one now.”

* * *

From that moment, the two were inseparable.

Soojin would always come looking for Shuhua during her breaks. Meeting her by the camp’s main pavilion after every activity just to see how she’s doing, then chatting about her day as they sat under a large pine tree. She was very patient with Shuhua, and even waited for her to write out a response while picking out some of the stray leaves and twigs that were stuck in her hair.

Who knew people could be so aggressive in a _casual_ round of “Capture the Flag”?

( ** _It was torture, Jin-Jin! I felt like I was being hunted down in the Quarter Quell!_** The Taiwanese had scribbled on her notepad one time, and Soojin busted out the most adorable laugh she’s ever heard in her entire life.)

Shuhua—to her own surprise—didn’t try to push Soojin away like she did with everyone else. Instead, she allowed herself to be more open around the older girl and even warmed up to her on multiple occasions. Usually by holding her hand as they explored the campgrounds, or even hugging her when they met up and said their goodbyes for the day. It gave her the “fuzzies”, so to speak, but she often ignored it in Soojin’s presence.

For Shuhua, being with Soojin just felt safe… and comforting. Like there weren’t any limitations that would hold them back, or complicate the relationship they were slowly building together.

When summer ended, they still remained in contact with each other. Talking via social media as they made plans to hang out at Shuhua’s place after Soojin, being a couple years older, finished her university classes for the day. They would sit together in her room, studying and just doing their homework, while Soojin helped her with anything she didn’t really understand—like Korean proverbs in her language assignment.

( ** _고생_** **_끝에_** **_낙이_** **_온다_** ** _—?_** Shuhua drew a question mark next to it before sliding the paper on Soojin’s textbook, her head tilted sideways like a confused puppy.

_“Go-saeng kkeut-e nag-i on-da.”_ Soojin reiterates with an endearing smile. _“At the end of hardship comes happiness.”_ )

On weekends, they would watch a movie with copious amounts of buttered popcorn to satisfy Shuhua’s cravings. Or just go to the park and enjoy a particularly nice weather outside. (They tried riding a tandem bike once, but Soojin panicked and almost swerved them into a lamppost. She never touched a handlebar again, and opted to just follow Shuhua by foot as she biked along the pavements.)

If they were feeling exceptionally lazy, they’d lie down on Shuhua’s bed and listen to Anne-Marie or The Chainsmokers on repeat. Soojin would talk about her university life, the struggles of being a dance major, and the many misadventures she had on campus, while Shuhua just listened attentively. Her replies then came on either pieces of scratch paper, or text bubbles sent in their private DMs.

(One day, Soojin had shyly admitted to keeping some of the papers and backreading Shuhua’s messages every time she opens her inbox.

_“I just like seeing what you thought back then, even though it’s a little strange without much context on my part... You’re very eloquent with words, Shu. I think you’d make a pretty good writer.”_

The sudden praise had Shuhua blushing madly under her hood, which she quickly pulled up in an effort to hide her reddened cheeks. It was a futile attempt, however, and Soojin spent the whole afternoon teasing her about it.

_“You’re so cute, Shuhua.”_ She’d say while hugging her embarrassed friend, who ultimately failed at disappearing inside her large hoodie.)

Now Soojin didn’t know any sign language. At first, she wanted to learn it—thinking that Shuhua would prefer the use of her hands, instead of having to rely on a pen or keyboard—but was immediately stopped by the frantic shake of her head and the distressed black eyes screaming _“no!”_

** Shu-Shu: **

**I hate sign language, unnie!! >_<’**

**It makes me feel like a deaf and mute person altogether.**

**Besides, I think there’s more sincerity in expressing words that you can actually read. It feels rawer and more intimate.**

**Like personal letters that hold a certain value or sentiment in them, even if they’re short and random sometimes!**

She hit _‘send’_ without much thought. Only realizing the weight and implication of her message when Soojin’s eyes widened at her phone screen. _Fuck—_

Her hands fumbled with the device, thumbs at ready by the digital keyboard as she wracked her brain for an excuse. But before she could hastily draft up another reply, Soojin looked back at her with so much _fondness_ in her gaze… and something else that she couldn’t quite identify then. Nevertheless, Shuhua blushed and rubbed her nape awkwardly.

The two sat there for a while, staring at each other in companionable silence, until Soojin’s strawberry-pink lips curled up into a dazzling smile that has her stomach doing the flips.

“Oh, Shuhua…” She shook her head mirthfully, the smile still growing on her face as her eyes almost disappeared into little crescents. “What am I going to do with you?”

Soojin let out a small laugh, oblivious to the way that it sent butterflies down Shuhua’s throat as her heart skipped a beat.

_You give me feelings that I can’t even put into words._

* * *

More than a year later, things have changed—but they’re still closer than ever. Shuhua had completed her advancement classes and enrolled in the same university as Soojin, where she decided to take up an English Literature course. She had also moved on from the traditional writing and traded it for an iPhone with a larger screen, since it was much faster for her to type than to scribble down words that could stretch an entire paragraph. She’s still fluent in sign language, but hated it just as much as when she was a kid.

Instead of hanging out at Shuhua’s place like before, the two are now settled in a cozy dorm that housed most of their belongings. When college wasn’t busy eating up their time together, they would curl up on Soojin’s bed and watch reruns of _“The Big Bang Theory”_ on her beaten MacBook.

(Shuhua loves cuddling against her in these moments, since Soojin has always been so warm and soft. Especially in the cherry-red sweater that matched the scarlet locks of her newly-dyed hair.)

When the third week rolled in, Soojin brought up the idea to let Shuhua meet her group of friends in the university.

“They’re nice people, Shu. A bit overwhelming, but I’m sure you’ll both get along just fine.” Soojin reassured after seeing her hesitate. “If it’s too much for you, I can introduce them separately. I’ll start with Minnie-unnie and Miyeon-unnie, then Soyeon and Yuqi. The first two are really sweet, and the other two… Well, Yuqi is very good at socializing with others. But she’s hard to control sometimes, and Soyeon is just intimidating in general.”

Shuhua, with her pouting lips and puppy eyes on full display, whipped out her new phone to draft a few messages for Soojin.

** Shu-Shu: **

**You’re willing to share me, Jin-Jin?!**

**I’m so offended! So… SCANDALIZED! >:(**

**And I thought we had something special!!!**

By now, Soojin is already used to her dramatics and just sighs deeply. “Of course, it’s special. _You’re_ special to me, Shuhua-yah… More than you probably realize. A-And I want to show that by letting you into this part of my life… The one that involves everyone else, because they’re just as close to me as I am to you.”

She then grasped Shuhua’s hands with her own and squeezed them gently, soft browns pleading to a pair of stunned blacks.

“Please, Shu? I don’t want you to feel left out.”

The pure earnestness in her eyes had left Shuhua feeling speechless. The message was a joke, obviously, but… Soojin isn’t the type to throw these kinds of words around—unless she _really_ means it.

Huffing mildly, Shuhua ducked her head down to hide her rosy cheeks and sent her another reply.

** Shu-Shu: **

**Okay, unnie. I’ll do it for youuu <3!**

Had she looked up sooner, she would’ve noticed the perpetual blush that was dusting Soojin’s face after reading her message. But the sight of her ecstatic grin was enough to make Shuhua melt inside.

* * *

Meeting the friends was like being introduced to the in-laws of a second family. If it weren’t for Soojin holding her hand on their way to the courtyard, Shuhua would’ve already ran for the hills.

It’s not that they were bad or anything, but the whole ordeal felt like a goddamn peer evaluation and she was scoring low in every criteria. If Shuhua were being graded from one to ten, her overall score would be a measly 4.5 (the .5 being counted there as “effort”).

God, she wanted to _cry._

These are Soojin’s friends! Soojin’s! The older girl is one of the most important people in Shuhua’s life now, she didn’t want to screw it up by leaving a bad first impression on her friend group! Call it an exaggeration, but what if she left because Shuhua couldn’t get along with them?

Suffice to say, she worried for nothing—since her fears were a lot more than unfounded.

Minnie and Miyeon were pleasant to talk to. More so than she initially expected, and the Thai even knew a bit of sign language after studying it in her old school. Per Soojin’s request though, she abstained from using it around Shuhua and didn’t mind waiting for a typed response. Likewise, Miyeon—despite her reputation for being _“slow”_ and _“impatient”_ (Soojin’s words, not hers)—was fine with the slight communication barrier and instantly grew a soft spot for the mute freshman.

“Aww, Soojin! She’s so cute~!” Miyeon squealed as she pounced on the unsuspecting girl.

Poor Shuhua had to wrestle away the opposing hands that threatened to rip her cheeks off. Never in her life has she felt more betrayed than having Soojin watch her from the sidelines, a smirk hanging on the corner of her lips while this human teddy bear tried to _glomp_ her.

_Jin-Jin! Help me!_ She wanted to scream, but all her mouth produced was a feeble groan. _Stupid voice!_

Shuhua wouldn’t admit it out loud (not that she can anyway), but only Soojin has the privilege to be this touchy with her. The rest can be fended off with a ten-foot stick—and maybe a restraining order.

Come as it may, she did end up liking the so-called “Puppy Sisters” of the group. Even if they were just a little too affectionate for Shuhua’s taste.

( _“Minnie-unnie, please stop trying to kiss her cheek. She looks like she’s about to bolt for the exit any second now.”_ )

On the other hand, Yuqi and Soyeon are a different story.

They weren’t any less pleasant from the previous two, except for the following:

  * Either Soojin underestimated the Han girl’s hyperactive disposition, or Shuhua just hasn’t socialized in literally _forever_ and was unprepared for the inexhaustible “energy pill” that is Song Yuqi.
  * Shuhua must’ve done something terrible in her previous life to warrant a tiny Jeon Soyeon glaring at her from across the table. (Aka, the “short-but-will-stomp-you-down-with-her-Doc-Martins” leader of their squad.)



Within an hour of meeting them separately, Yuqi had effectively drained Shuhua of her social battery three-times over. And Soyeon managed to scare the Taiwanese into her next life by simply existing.

Yuqi had been more amicable. She was like the textbook definition of “Sunshine”, the human equivalent of a beagle, and the antithesis of Shuhua’s mutism with her loud voice that was surprisingly deep for someone who looks like a baby.

Soyeon was the opposite. Her height did very little to dispel the untouchable aura surrounding her, along with those sharpened eyes that could cut through her soul by just a mere glance. Maybe it’s the winged eyeliner, but she looked like a lioness about to rip apart her next prey (that prey being Yeh Shuhua trying to merge with the bench).

“So, you can’t talk?”

Shuhua almost booked it.

“Not orally.” Soojin answered for her, soothing the antsy girl with a gentle rub on her back. “She’s mute, remember?”

“Yeah, you’ve made that clear.” Soyeon turns back to Shuhua, who has yet to meet her gaze properly, and—to her astonishment—signs with her hands. _‘Then maybe I shouldn’t speak either. But, if you ask me, I think my sarcasm is a lot funnier aloud.’_

“Soyeon…” The redhead sighed. “She doesn’t like it when people use sign language with her.”

“Oh, shit. Sorry.” The shorter girl apologized and folded her arms back down on the table.

**It’s fine, unnie! But I’d appreciate it if you guys don’t talk like I’m not here. I’m mute, not deaf =_=** Shuhua had typed on her Notes app before showing the screen to them, her response making Soyeon chuckle lightly.

“Silent with a touch of sass. I like you already, Shuhua.”

She snorted at that while Soojin just rolled her eyes. It wasn’t much, but Soyeon seemed to treat her like a normal person. And that was enough to make her smile.

* * *

Shuhua slides down in her chair with a faint groan.

The past week has been one _Hell_ of a ride. Finals were never her strong point, so she was more than happy to finally relax after sending off the last file to her English professor.

Looking up from her computer screen, her eyes land on the Totoro-themed calendar pinned above her desk. Only two more days till the semester break, and she could finally relax without having to think about requirements until January.

While Soojin was away at her afternoon classes, Shuhua had spent this time doing her own online classes for the day. The older girl actually talked to her about taking a few subjects in a _real_ classroom, because _“staying in a dorm all day is unhealthy, Shu. You need to go out and explore the campus. Maybe even get some sunlight while you’re at it.”_

That said, she wished attendance didn’t count so much grade-wise. Especially when it consists about 15% of the overall grade, and having three un-excused absences would immediately constitute to a failing mark on her student record.

So, yeah. Online classes it is then.

Shuhua puts her head down on the table. Thinking about grades reminded her that she’s halfway through the freshman year, and requirements wouldn’t be the only thing that’ll stress her out.

She figured that her time with Soojin is limited. Who would want to spend the rest of their life with a clingy, mute kid anyway? Shuhua might be part of her friend group now, and would even join them on their Friday night excursions to de-stress from their respective majors, but sometimes… she still feels like an outsider. No matter how much they always try to include her in everything they do.

Soojin would surely want to be with someone who can sing along to drunken karaoke. A friend who can actually produce _laughter_ at Minnie’s dad jokes, Miyeon’s gullible personality, and Soyeon roasting the shit out of the bluffing Yuqi. A friend who can run to the convenience store and buy snacks without the fear of the cashier talking to them, and not being able to say anything back.

Online classes forgotten, Shuhua paced around the dorm with a gloomy cloud over her head.

On one hand, she wanted to tell Soojin everything. How her heart would be pounding every time they were together. How her stomach would fill with butterflies whenever Soojin smiled her way, or giggled at something she sent in their chat. How the world would seem brighter and more cheerful when she’s around her best friend.

Her pacing begins to quicken along with the budding anxiety in her chest. Because on the other hand, Shuhua was probably holding her back. It’s not that she didn’t want Soojin to be independent and decide for herself, but she knows that the older girl has been adjusting her own life for _her._

Soojin always initiated the conversations with other people, knowing that she couldn’t speak and handle social interactions very well. Wherever Shuhua went, Soojin made sure to be there or on stand-by just in case she needed help. Translating things for her, speaking on her behalf. Hell, she was the one who accompanied Shuhua when the freshman had to collect her schedule and dorm keys from the administration’s office.

In fact, Soojin could’ve moved into the upper dormitories with the rest of her block mates. But when she found out that Shuhua, being from the lower batch, would end up rooming with a complete stranger, she signed her name under the same dorm assignment and became her roommate. (The last thing Soojin wanted was for the Taiwanese to be stuck with someone she’s not comfortable with—for her entire stay, no less!)

It’s scary, really, to think about how much Shuhua was beginning to depend more and more on Soojin. So much so that she even had nightmares about the older girl leaving her one day. That Soojin will eventually have enough of Shuhua and the deafening silence, she’ll leave and the Taiwanese would be all alone again.

( ** _You’ll leave me one day, won’t you?_** The question slipped out after a particularly bad dream, which left Shuhua in a vulnerable state of insecurity and fear as her fingers typed away. Sending the damn message right before her rationality caught up to stop it, and feeling remorseful when Soojin’s face fell upon reading it.

_“How could I ever leave you behind, Shu? You mean so much to me.”_ She quietly said after a few seconds of heart-stopping silence. _“I can never imagine my future without you being there.”_

**_But I'm giving you an easy way out, unnie. If you want to go, you can go. You're too good for me._ **

Immediately, Soojin dropped the phone and held her dongsaeng’s trembling form in her arms. Comforting Shuhua with a tight hug that eased away the foreboding thoughts in her head, before she pressed a soft kiss on her temple.

_“I won’t leave you, Shu…”_ Soojin whispered, trying to keep her voice from breaking at how Shuhua would ever think that she’ll just abandon her at some point. _“I love you way too much, and that’s never going to change. Trust me.”_

A sad smile made its way onto Shuhua’s face as she clung to her unnie for dear life. The Taiwanese didn’t believe much of what Soojin had said to her, but she’ll take it for now.)

Shuhua slumped down on her bed, tears about to sneak out from her eyes.

Over the months, she’s fallen in love with her best friend… and the thought of losing Soojin _scared_ her.

If it weren’t for the sound of the front door being unlocked, Shuhua would’ve had a breakdown on the spot. Her parents used to tell her that it was okay to cry, that she needed it in order to “outwardly” release her pent-up emotions, but there’s no way she was going to let anyone see it. Except for Soojin.

Soojin always knew how to cheer her up.

“Shu-Shu, I’m home! And I brought pizza!” Soojin called out when she entered their dorm, toeing off her old sneakers by the entrance and placing them on the shoe rack. “You better not have burned down the kitchen while I was gone!”

(It’s a running joke between them that Shuhua, who cannot “cook” anything but instant ramyeon to feed herself, would accidentally set the place on fire by just boiling water alone. Hence, the electric kettle Soojin had bought for that purpose.)

She hurriedly wiped away at her eyes, drying them of any leftover tears, before she sat up and greeted her friend with a wave.

“Dance practice was brutal, but Instructor Kwon was nice enough to let us go early.” Soojin tells her after shouldering off her backpack and setting it down by her desk, pizza box in hand as she placed it on the counter. “It’s garlic and shrimp, by the way. I know how much you love shrimp.”

Shuhua smiles at her in thanks.

“You’re welcome.”

* * *

Eight slices of pizza and three cans of Dr. Pepper later, the two are sprawled on Soojin’s bed watching _“The Princess and the Frog”_ as per Shuhua’s insistence that **_‘it’s a criminally underrated movie, Jin-Jin! Everyone is drooling over Elsa, but mah gurl Tiana deserves some love too!’ >:0_**

Midway through the film, however, Soojin has picked up on her absent gaze as she stared blankly into… well, nothing in particular. It’s strange, really, considering how Shuhua was usually immersed in her Disney movies like a child would to their favorite TV shows. But now, she’s not even looking at the screen where Tiana and Naveen meet the trumpet-playing alligator named Louis.

“Hey,” Soojin pipes up after pausing the film, staring into Shuhua’s dark eyes with unveiled concern. “Is everything okay, Shu? You seem… distant.”

Blinking a few times, Shuhua just nodded her head before giving the older girl a watery smile.

_I’m fine._ She lied in her head, and Soojin knew that.

“There’s definitely something wrong here.” Soojin had pushed off the MacBook from her lap and moved to face Shuhua properly, crossing her legs together as she watched her do the same. “You know you can tell me what’s on your mind, right?”

The Taiwanese nodded again, although she purposely tried to avoid Soojin’s eyes while doing so. A horrible mistake, since she ended up using her fingers to lift Shuhua’s head by the chin. Urging her to make eye-contact as Soojin tried to read her emotions, and Shuhua could feel herself getting lost in those honey-brown pools that look at her worriedly. Peeking under the fringe of her permed hair, which cascaded down her shoulders in long curtains of black.

For a moment, she wonders if the sun had dropped into them and dispersed itself into the gold flecks that scattered around her pupils.

“Shu-Shu…”

That sweet voice calls out to her once more, pulling Shuhua out of her haze, as soft fingertips brushed against the underside of her chin.

“… Talk to me? Please?” Soojin begged. Her expression was on the verge of being pouty and puppy-like, which only made Shuhua’s heart weaken at the sight.

_Dammit!_

How could she ever say no to a face like that? (Figuratively, in her case.)

With a reluctant sigh, Shuhua reached for her phone and unlocked it. Opening their DMs to type out a string of messages while Soojin grabbed hers from where it was lying on the bed.

** Shu-Shu: **

**I’m okay, unnie!**

**Well… kinda??**

**Just thinking about the future and stuff.**

**No biggie : >**

The little emoticon has Soojin chuckling, but there’s a pensive frown on her face afterwards. She looks back at Shuhua, who starts fidgeting a bit, with confusion. “Is this about your course?” The older girl asked. “I know you only went for English Literature because I suggested it. But if it’s not working out for you, we can look at the other courses and—"

A ping cuts her off, and Soojin glances down to see another thread of messages.

** Shu-Shu: **

**Nooooo, it’s not that!! D:**

**I like my course, unnie!**

**I would still be in post-high school limbo if you hadn’t suggested it in the first place, haha XD**

**It’s just…**

**When YOU graduate… I’ll still be in college and you’ll be out working or whatever.**

**And so will everyone else in our friend group, which means that I’ll be on my own during the fourth year.**

**I know you said that we can always hang out during the weekends, and that you’d visit me whenever you’re free.**

**But sometimes, I wonder if I’m just being a burden to you.**

“What?” Soojin is visibly taken aback by the sudden change of mood, and she makes that clear by staring back at her in shock. “Why would you… w-where is this all coming from?

Shuhua gulps quietly, then continues to type.

** Shu-Shu: **

**You’re always looking after me and making sure I’m alright.**

**Not that I don’t appreciate it, of course! I think that it’s really sweet of you! ^-^**

**But… I don’t know…**

**It’s such a hassle for you, isn’t it?**

**Having to take care of me? Having to adjust your life to accommodate my mutism and social anxiety?**

**Don’t you ever get tired of that? Of me?**

**Why do you even tolerate me in the first place?**

Before she knew it, her eyes began to water up again. Hot, bitter tears that she’s been holding back for way too long. And now that she’s here, pouring out her emotions in slews of text because of her useless vocal cords, Shuhua can feel the cracks in her resolve. Like a bottle that’s been overfilled to the point of bursting.

** Shu-Shu: **

**Is it out of pity?**

**Because you met me as that sad, lonely foreigner who ate alone at the lunch table?**

**That quiet girl with no friends? The dumb mute that no one approached, because who in the right mind would bother talking to someone who can’t even speak?**

**Did you just feel bad for me back then?**

“Shuhua…”

Soojin attempts to speak, her voice cracking slightly because _how could you ever think of yourself that way?,_ but Shuhua doesn’t acknowledge it. Her mind is too wrapped up in the turbulence of her words as they spilled into the chat, filling the screen with text bubbles that become blurred in her vision.

Stupid tears.

** Shu-Shu: **

**I’m such a waste of breath, honestly.**

**I don’t know why you’re still here reading my stupid messages.**

**I’m sorry if I’m being too melodramatic. Or whiny.**

**I’ve just been overthinking a lot.**

**Please don’t be upset with me, unnie…**

Merely seconds after she sent that last part, a pair of arms were suddenly thrown around her and pulled the stunned girl into a warm embrace. Shuhua could feel the quivering form against her as it shook with an onslaught of tears, and she flinched at the wetness that’s accumulating on the side of her neck. From the face that’s been buried there as it pressed against her skin.

Soojin is _crying._

“Don’t say that…” Soojin’s fingers curl into the fabric of her shirt, clutching it tightly. “Don’t you _dare_ say those horrible things about yourself ever again. Not to anyone, not to our friends, not even to _me._ I can’t believe you would ever think so lowly of yourself…”

Shuhua drops her phone in favor of hugging the older girl back, screwing her eyes shut as she hid her face in Soojin’s shoulder.

She wants to apologize. To say _“I’m sorry”_ in hopes that she’d alleviate some of the pain in Soojin’s voice, but the only sound she articulates is a strained grunt. It frustrates her to the point that she’s blinking away the angry tears that streak her flushed cheeks, furious at her inability to say _something_ that might lessen the heartache between them.

But Soojin can.

“You’re worth so much more than the names you’ve called yourself… You’re not some dumb mute, or some lonely foreigner. You’re my best friend and companion, Yeh Shuhua… The girl whom I approached at a summer camp two years ago because I found her interesting. The girl whose voice has gone silent, but her mind speaks a thousand words that I can’t even begin to comprehend...”

Soojin tightens her arms around Shuhua’s torso, their chests pressed together as they both felt their hearts beating wildly. One filled with nervous anticipation, and the other with desperate longing.

“… Have I ever told you how important you are to me?” She mumbled against her neck as she fisted the shirt in her hands. “You’re an amazing person, Shu… And hurts me to know that you actually think so less of yourself, when you deserve so much more than what I could possibly give you…”

The Taiwanese shook her head. _No, you deserve better than me._ A traitorous voice whispered in her head, but it disappears when Soojin pulls back to look at her and—oh, God.

Her heart feels constricted by the suffocating gaze of those anguished browns that are reddened with tears. Shuhua clenches her jaw at this, trying not to loathe herself any more than she already has, while Soojin moves to cup her face in gentle, loving hands. Bringing their faces closer as she rests their foreheads together.

“Words aren’t enough to express how thankful I am to have met you. I could write a bunch of letters to explain it, but they still won’t amount to every good feeling I have when I’m with you. But I know that you’ve made me so happy ever since that day, and I can’t bear the thought of losing you either...”

The indescribable weight in her honey-brown orbs was enough to keep Shuhua grounded, and she allows her arms to rest around Soojin’s waist as the latter kept talking.

“I don’t care how different you are from everyone else, or how complicated you think you are. I would _never_ just abandon you like that.” Soojin emphasized strongly, hoping that she got the intent across. “No matter what happens in the future, we’ll always be together. Trust me on that. Okay, Shu-Shu?”

The girl in question gives her a weak nod.

“And please… don’t invalidate yourself again. You’re more than enough already.” Soojin finished with a chaste, but heartfelt kiss on her forehead. Chasing away the remaining doubts that still plagued Shuhua’s mind as she finally relaxed, a breathy sigh slipping past her lips as she savored the lingering touch on her skin.

They stay like that for a while, their knees touching slightly from where they’re seated, as Soojin wiped away the stray tears on both their faces. Shuhua takes note of how gentle she’s being, using the smooth pads of her thumbs to swipe at the rogue tears, and feels that all-too familiar thud in her chest.

Ah, this pesky heart of hers…

She eventually drifts off into her own little world. Thinking back to their recent conversation that, to her immense relief and joy, lifted off the egregious weight from her shoulders. The emotional burdens that she’s been carrying over the years, which grew with every fear and insecurity she had—from being alone, to Soojin possibly leaving her after college.

But now, Shuhua isn’t so afraid anymore. _Maybe there’s a place for us in the future, after all._

She’s caught up in her own thoughts when Soojin taps her on the nose, prompting her to jump slightly in surprise while her friend laughs amusedly.

“Do you feel better now, Shu?” The older girl asked in that sweetened voice she adores so much, and Shuhua forces down the huge blush threatening to paint her cheeks.

Flustered, she blindly searches for her phone and pulls up their DMs again. It’s now, or never.

** Shu-Shu: **

**There’s something else that I need to tell you, unnie…**

Soojin, who had retrieved her phone from the side, stares at Shuhua with newfound concern. “What is it?” She probes gently.

Shuhua seems to hesitate for a moment, a look of uncertainty on her face, before she resumes typing. The possibilities behind that statement were literally endless, and over fifty percent of them weren’t good. She quickly hides her fear though, not wanting Soojin to catch onto the fact that she’s worried.

** Shu-Shu: **

**I think it’s better to say it in-person.**

Now Soojin is rightfully confused. “Wait… what do you mean? Are you—”

Her blabbering was cut short by Shuhua taking one of her hands with her own, turning its palm upwards as she unfurled her fingers. All the while, Soojin watches her carefully in puzzled fascination.

The Taiwanese had been planning this ever since she came into terms of her growing crush on Soojin. So, if ever the times comes for her to come clean—Shuhua is ready.

It was three words. Ones that are fairly simple on their own, but extremely powerful when joined together. _A risky move,_ Shuhua believed, especially when she considered the chances of it ruining the sentimental atmosphere around them. But she _needs_ to tell her now, or else she might never find the strength to do it next time.

_Breathe, Shuhua._

Taking her own advice, she slowly breathes in and out. Going through the motions in her head once more as she concentrates on doing everything right.

This has to be perfect. It just _has_ to.

Grasping onto Soojin’s hand, Shuhua begins to draw each letter on her palm with a shaky finger. Making sure that the words are being spelled properly, and that Soojin can read them from her perspective. Shuhua hadn’t tried writing upside down before, but she gets to the second word without making a mistake.

Meanwhile, Soojin looks at her hand intently. Putting all her focus on what she’s about to say (or _“sign”,_ for that matter) with bated breath, only for her mouth to drop open slightly at the third letter.

(Was she going to…?)

Shuhua’s nerves are getting the best of her, yet she pushes through in a burst of determination. Her finger draws an invisible line downwards, slanted to the middle before dragging up diagonally. Then it draws a firm line at the base of Soojin’s palm, until sliding down again to connect it with a vertical one. This keeps going for a while, and Soojin can feel her skin tingling from the sensitivity. Shuhua, however, has that jittery sensation in her stomach.

It’s not just butterflies anymore, but _hummingbirds._ Those damned hummingbirds.

_“Oh my God.”_ Soojin finally gasped once Shuhua draws the last letter, her eyes welling up with another round of tears when she spelled out the words in her head: **“I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U”.**

**I love you.**

Shuhua had signed this very statement on the surface of her palm. A silent confession that spoke volumes from the heart.

“Y-You… love me…?” She managed to choke out while staring into her softened eyes. “You _love_ me…”

Shuhua nods again. Mustering up what she hopes is a sincere smile, despite the uneasy twitch on the corner of her mouth. Did she make the right choice? Shuhua doesn’t know. The awkward silence isn’t helping her at all. And frankly, Soojin’s tearful gaze is becoming more uncomfortable by the second. She’s so damn nervous that her breathing has picked up, and—

Suddenly, Shuhua gets pulled into another embrace as Soojin hugs her by the neck. Stealing the air right out of her lungs (literally, Shuhua can hardly breathe), but it doesn’t matter when she hears her whispering.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this moment.”

Shuhua’s eyes widen at this, leaning back slightly to see Soojin grinning from ear-to-ear, and she ends up laughing breathlessly. It comes out more like a hollow wheeze than a belly chuckle, but Soojin is convinced that it’s one of the most adorable sounds in the world.

Soon after she comes down from her high, the older girl makes the first move and yanks her into a long, overdue kiss.

Although their movements are bit sloppy, and there’s that subtle trace of garlic that throws it off a little, Shuhua thinks that it’s as perfect as it gets. Especially with how warm and willing Soojin is as she runs a hand through her black hair, smiling against her lips and drinking up the airy sigh that escapes from it.

“I love you too, Shu.” Soojin tells her once they parted, a teasing smirk on her face as she sees the raging blush on Shuhua’s cheeks. “And don’t worry, you don’t have to say it back. I already know.”

_That’s because I just told you._ Shuhua wanted to roll her eyes. However, she decides against it and just dives back in for a second kiss. Effectively wiping off that smirk as Soojin squealed in pleasant surprise. She might not produce any vocal sound, but she sure knew how to draw one out from the girl beneath her.

“Y-Yah! Quit touching my butt, you byuntae!”

(Too bad for Soojin, Shuhua pretends not to hear her right now.)

_“Yeh Shuhua!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the award for the most anticlimactic build-up goes to… 👑  
> This is definitely a contender on my list of **"fics that sorta have a plot, but I butchered it so horribly that I can't even read them without my butthole clenching."**
> 
> I'll post a much shorter epilogue soon, and it's gonna be just pure fluff from there.


	2. in silence, i'm screaming: "i love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. It's been months, but I came back to post this way-overdue epilogue and dip.
> 
> Just to be clear, there's really no plot here. It's more of a tacky, little bow to wrap up this entire fic, so don't get too excited.  
> I actually got bored while writing this, hence the reason why I took so long to actually finish it.
> 
> ** Thanks for all the kudos and really sweet comments. It's amazing to see how many people enjoyed this, and I'm very grateful for all the love/support this fic has received so far. You guys are the best. 💜 **   
>    
> 

_"Souls say things that we can't hear, but feel."_

**— Unknown**

It’s Saturday morning when Shuhua wakes up, her eyes half-lidded as she rubbed at them groggily.

Turning over, she finds Soojin lying beside her with the softest look in her honey-brown eyes. Almost like they were melting into golden rays from the early sunlight as it seeped through the blinds of their dorm, and Shuhua couldn’t help the little smile tugging on her lips from the endearing sight.

What a way to start a new day.

“Morning, Shu-Shu.” Soojin greets after shimmying over to plant a kiss on her slightly dry lips.

Shuhua lets out a sigh of delight when a cool hand cups the side of her face, stroking her cheek with a thumb as it moves slowly. She can taste mint in her mouth and knows that this isn’t just another dream, but a blissful reality. Something she has trouble accepting until now, because Soojin is beautiful, smart, compassionate, and so much better than she’ll ever be. But for some reason, Soojin had convinced herself that Shuhua is just as perfect.

“I made you iced coffee, by the way.” Soojin tells her once they parted, rolling over to the side and reaching for one of their mugs on the nightstand. It’s three-quarters of the way full with Shuhua’s favorite brand of instant coffee, and the mug also happens to be her favorite one too.

Soojin had gifted it to her last Christmas as part of their matching couple set, which she specifically asked to be custom-made by her younger brother Changbin. The art major was more than happy to design the mugs ( _“No. I didn’t threaten him at knife-point, Shu.”_ ), and even printed his own drawings of two particular animals on the matte ceramic—a baby penguin for Shuhua, and a baby fox for Soojin. Their nicknames “ **Shu-Shu** ” and “ **Jin-Jin** ” were also printed just below them in blue and red bubble font respectively.

( _“He said that you reminded him of a baby penguin when I showed him your picture.”_ The older girl explained after meeting her curious gaze. _“I’ve got to say, the resemblance is uncanny. Small, cute, and very huggable.”_

This is one of the rare times that Shuhua was thankful for being mute, or else Soojin would’ve heard a whine behind the pillow she used to hide her flustered grin.)

She blinks a few times to focus herself. Because her brain is still coming back from sleep-mode, and she can’t seem to figure out how Soojin managed to shower and make coffee without waking her up.

Or maybe, she’s just a really heavy sleeper.

Grasping the cold mug in her hands, Shuhua mouths _“thank you”_ to her thoughtful girlfriend before taking a long, lazy sip of the coffee. Smiling into her drink when she tastes the scoop of sugar and the splash of milk, just the way she likes it.

“So, I was wondering if maybe we could stay in bed for a bit?” Soojin offered as they sat up properly. “I just bought this new book yesterday, and I’ve been wanting to read it before we meet up with our friends later.”

_Oh, right._ Soyeon invited the group to an end-of-the-year party at one of the campus ballrooms. She and her cousin Yoongi are going to be DJs for the event, and the girls wanted to support them. It wouldn’t be until the evening, however, so they made plans to hang out at the new mall that had recently opened nearby. Minnie and Miyeon wanted to visit this crafts store, and Yuqi wanted to check for the video game she and Shuhua have been itching to play.

So, yeah. They’re pretty much booked for the rest of the day. Might as well make the best of their morning together.

Shuhua nods at her suggestion with a grin. The days spent just relaxing in bed are some of her favorite ways to spend their downtime, and she thinks that Soojin is the best girlfriend for proposing such an idea.

After grabbing the book and glasses from her desk, she helps Shuhua in arranging the bed to make it more comfortable. Trading pillows and moving the blanket around in childish glee, until they were both satisfied with the arrangement.

Shuhua cuddles up to her side while Soojin leans against the headboard, a pillow cushioning her back and her arm resting on the other girl’s shoulder. Settling into their usual positions with Shuhua playing on her phone, the volume turned down so that Soojin can read peacefully, and the only sounds being the constant hum of the AC unit, along with the quiet flips of pages.

Sometime later, Shuhua gets bored of playing Geometry Dash (because dying a hundred times gets too repetitive) and glances up to find Soojin’s eyebrows furrowed in concentration. It’s an attractive look, especially with those round spectacles sitting low on her nose bridge. Adding to the softness factor of her bare face and round cheeks, which are slightly flushed from the cool air of their dorm.

Shuhua has her own glasses—rose-tinted ones, to be exact—that make them all the more enticing to gaze at. Because pink is such a good color on her girlfriend, and maybe she wants to see more of it.

Soojin catches her staring though, and she locks eyes with Shuhua from where her head is lying against her stomach. A perfect brow raised as a smirk hung on the corner of her plush lips. But before she could even start teasing her, Shuhua had propped herself up to press a quick, sloppy kiss on Soojin’s cheek.

_Gotcha._

Caught off-guard by the sudden affection, the older girl lets out an adorable squeak while raising the book to her face. Trying to mask her blush as it bloomed across her skin in a flood of warmth.

“What was that for?” She mumbles shyly, trying to act serious in spite of her eyes being pushed up into those cute, little crescents. Shuhua has that signature smile on as she typed her response, then waited for Soojin to unlock her phone after grabbing it from the nightstand.

** Shu-Shu <3: **

**You look really cute when you’re focused, unnie ^u^**

**Especially with those glasses on. You should wear them more~**

Soojin reads over the text when she opens it, and a hearty laugh slips out of her mouth.

“I’m flattered, Shu. But you’re definitely a lot cuter.” Her brown eyes are absolutely sparkling right now as she puts aside her book in favor of kissing Shuhua on the lips, a hand cupping the back of her neck to deepen it briefly.

Shuhua tastes like sweetened coffee, and Soojin tastes like minty toothpaste. An odd combination, but it doesn’t stop them once they’ve fallen into a steady pace. Not until they hear the simultaneous rumbling of their stomachs, which makes them pull apart with equally flustered looks on both their faces. A glance at the clock reveals that it’s almost lunchtime, and neither of them had even eaten breakfast yet.

“I should probably cook something for us.” Soojin grinned as she carefully detached herself from the clingy Shuhua, who could only pout while she patted her head affectionately. “I’m thinking ham and egg sandwich. Is that okay with you?”

The eager nod she gets has her chuckling. “Alright. Be back in a few.”

She gives her one last kiss before leaving the bedroom, and Shuhua curls up in the warm blanket as she listens to the sounds coming from the kitchen. Her mind drifting to past memories, old and new, while she stares out the window. A wistful smile on her lips that still have the lingering taste of mint on them.

Shuhua thinks about how nice it is to wake up next to a warm body, lying against it with her ears picking up the steady heartbeat and gentle breathing. Cozying up to Soojin as she pulled her close to her chest.

She thinks about her childhood and how pitifully alone she felt, despite being surrounded by many people. How everyone kept their distance from her the same way she did to them, until Soojin came into her life and took the initiative to approach her. Taking that extra step to really befriend her when no one else (save for their mutual friends) did.

Most importantly, she thinks about Soojin and how incredible these past two years have been with her. How genuinely kind and caring she’s been from the start. How she willingly stuck around in spite of Shuhua’s closed-off personality, and never treated her muteness like a limitation in their relationship. How she welcomed Shuhua into her life with open arms, and those gentle, brown eyes that held no judgement or contempt they first locked gazes at the summer camp years ago.

Those same eyes that would look at her with all the unconditional love in the world, and convey the feelings that Soojin couldn’t put into words.

Soojin, with her sun-kissed skin and short hair, her luscious lips and that little beauty mark under her left eye, and the perfect set of teeth that Shuhua loves running her tongue along whenever they kissed. But her favorite is when they flash into that special smile reserved only for _her—_ the one just for Shuhua.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._ She can feel her heart beating faster at the mere thought of her girlfriend, and the growing warmth that bloomed on her cheeks. Who knew Soojin would affect her this much?

_God, I really do love her._

It didn’t take long until Soojin comes back into the room, carrying two plates of ham-and-cheese sandwiches and orange juice on a foldable tray. She even took the liberty to add a couple eggs on Shuhua’s plate. Creamy and scrambled, with a bit of chives sprinkled on top. Just the way she likes it.

As they’re settled against the headboard to enjoy their food, Shuhua’s mind goes back on its trip to memory lane. Thinking about everything else that lead them to where they are now—sitting in bed and sharing a meal like a happy, domestic couple in the honeymoon stages of their relationship. It feels… nice, to say the least, and gave her this sense of contentment that she couldn’t find anywhere else. Something that can only be provided by Soojin alone, with presence making her feel like she’s found a home in the older girl.

A poke on her cheek drags Shuhua back into the present, and she looks over to find Soojin staring at her. “Penny for your thoughts?”

The Taiwanese lets out a breathy laugh, her shoulders bouncing slightly from the action, before putting down her fork to type another message.

** Shu-Shu <3: **

**Just reminiscing on the past. Mostly about you tho ;)**

Soojin reads it and chuckles. “Oh? And what are they exactly?” She asked in a light, teasing tone, the corner of her lips quirked up into a little smirk.

Shuhua types again.

** Shu-Shu <3: **

**Ah, you know~**

**Our first meeting, our first kiss, our first date… bla bla bla :P**

**Pretty much everything that has you there with me.**

“Cheesy.” Soojin leaned in to peck her cheek, but not before she wiped her lips clean with a paper napkin. “I remember our first kiss. It was sweet, given the moment. But I probably should’ve considered the garlic aftertaste from that pizza we had. That being said…”

She quickly adds, laughing a little when Shuhua feigns an offended look.

“… I still think it was perfect. It felt natural, and the timing was just right… Even if you had to go all handsy and grope my butt right after. Honestly, Shu. Had I known you had a fetish for that, I would’ve laid ground rules from the moment we became roommates.”

Okay, _now_ Shuhua is a bit insulted.

** Shu-Shu <3: **

**For the last time, unnie! It’s NOT a fetish!!! >_<’**

**It was in the heat of the moment, ok?**

**And, well… maybe I DO like your butt…**

**It’s… shapely??**

Poor Shuhua can feel her ears burning when Soojin bursts into laughter, but it’s totally worth seeing her curved eyes and the broad grin that she tries to hide behind her hand. _Wholesome,_ is what she thinks about it.

“Oh my God... Shu-Shu, I was just kidding!” She jests while fanning her face, trying to calm herself as she beamed at her flustered girlfriend. “But thank you for your shameless appreciation of my _shapely_ bum.”

Shuhua groaned. _I shouldn’t have sent that in the first place!_

However, her regret is short-lived under the spell of Soojin’s lips. Kissing her slowly with the smile still plastered on her face, even after she had pulled away. “If it helps, you’re the only person who’s allowed to touch it.” She says cheekily, prompting Shuhua to roll her eyes in playful mirth.

_Eh, fair enough._

Soojin then reached for her hand and laced their fingers together, pulling it to her lap while she inched closer to rest her head on Shuhua’s shoulder.

“Remember our first date?” She whispered, feeling a nod from where the Taiwanese had pressed her cheek against her head. “You took me biking along the Han river after class, then we took pictures there until a guy came up and tried to flirt with me. I swear, I’ve never seen you look at someone with so much hostility in your eyes.”

The older girl laughs softly while Shuhua scrunched her nose in disdain.

She had gotten a new bike from her parents as a birthday gift and installed pegs for Soojin to hitch a ride on. Although initially terrified ( _“You can’t expect me to stand on those and not fall off, Shu!”_ ), Soojin enjoyed the short trip to the river bank and took polaroid photos of them there—until Stranger Danger came into the scene uninvited.

As much as Shuhua _really_ wanted to throw him off the bridge, it was incredibly amusing to watch him flounder through his mediocre pick-up lines while Soojin remained unimpressed at his advances. Even more so when he shrunk back under the cold, steely glare Shuhua had given him right after she purposely stepped forward to wrap a possessive arm around Soojin’s waist. Sending him daggers all the way until he finally got the hint and left them alone to avoid the wrath of a very unhappy girlfriend.

Thankfully, the rest of their date went without any other “disturbances”. And the Taiwanese didn’t have to terrorize a flirty waiter during their dinner at a nearby bistro.

** Shu-Shu <3: **

**Ugh, the NERVE of that guy! -_-**

**I’ve seen better pick-up lines on Twitter, and most of them are pretty generic.**

**Like I get it, you’re suuuper hot. But did he really have to hit on you like that?? Smh**

Seeing how Shuhua’s cheeks are puffed out in annoyance, Soojin calms her down by kissing them both. Easing away the frown that marred her girlfriend’s features as she lets out an airy sigh.

“I have to admit, I felt a teeny-bit bad for embarrassing him that way. But it’s cute how easily jealous you get sometimes.” Soojin grinned, pinching a cheek and giggling when Shuhua makes a winded grunt. “Honestly, everything you do is just… cute. Even if it’s unintentional. Like right now, I can tell that you’re whining because of your expression. I can’t hear it, but I still find it really adorable.”

Shuhua purses her lips while trying to maintain a neutral front, despite the faint blush that’s blooming on her face. Unfortunately, Soojin came prepared with a whole arsenal of compliments and heartfelt confessions that would leave Shuhua feeling overwhelmed—only in the best possible way.

“Lately, I’ve been thinking about all the things I love about you. Soyeon told me that I should probably list them down, but it’s hard when I’m always learning something new about you almost every day. It’s just…”

Soojin does a grasping motion with her hands and hopes that it’s enough to get her meaning across.

“… I seriously love you, Shuhua, and everything little thing that comes with you. I love the way you smile so brightly, and I wish that you’d never lose it. I love the look in your eyes, and the way that they remind of me of little galaxies whenever I stare into them. It’s so… expressive, but mysterious. Like you’re telling me something, but I need to dig even deeper to find out what it is.”

She then reaches out to take Shuhua’s hands in her own, squeezing them gently as she keeps going.

“I love the way you get flustered whenever you make any sound, even if it’s like a wheeze or a breathless laugh—do you know how much I love it when you do that? It’s so subtle, but I think it’s one of the cutest things I’ve ever heard. And the way your shoulders tremble every time you do is just… God, it makes me want to hug you so much. I never thought of myself as the affectionate type, but you’re an exception to me. You’ve always been, and I’m okay with that.”

Lord knows how badly Shuhua’s face is burning from all this. Even more so when she can just _feel_ the utmost sincerity pouring out with every word, while Soojin fixes her with the warmest gaze that could melt her into a puddle on the sheets. Earnest, and full of pure, unadulterated affection.

Until now, Shuhua can’t seem to wrap her head around the fact that she’s dating an absolute sweetheart and wonders what she’s done to deserve someone as perfect as Soojin.

It just seems too good to be true.

After they finished eating, Soojin has set aside the tray on the nightstand for Shuhua to lie down and rest her head on the older girl’s lap. A complacent grin across her features when she looks up at her girlfriend, who just rolls her eyes playfully before running a hand through Shuhua’s hair. Gingerly brushing it along the sable tresses and humming a steady tune, while the Taiwanese closes her eyes and sighs into her touch.

Soojin couldn’t contain her fond smile as she stares down at her adorable dongsaeng. Loving the low keen that escapes Shuhua’s mouth when she scratches her scalp lightly, and the quiet purrs that draw out as she continues petting her.

“I love you, Shu.” She says suddenly, prompting Shuhua to open her eyes and look at her once more. Smiling all the same, even though it sucks that she’ll never be able to _actually_ say it back.

But seeing the doting expression on Soojin’s face is more than enough to make up for it.

Shuhua is then shaken out of her peaceful reverie. Except this time, by the warm feeling of Soojin’s lips on her own after she leans down to kiss her softly. The both of them grinning into it as the Taiwanese pushes herself up a little to deepen their contact, before mouthing the words right back to her:

_I love you too, unnie._

And it resonates loud and clear in their hearts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, don't @ me for this lame-ass ending. I would like to bury this story under my profile now. Thank u.
> 
> **Edit: Aight, so I read the whole thing and my lips just flattened into the thinnest line ever. 😬 ~~delete me~~.**


End file.
